Saturday, October 8, 2011

Does this answer your question?

FIRST OF ALL :)
I am not a liar. Everything I had ever told him was true.
Seriously though it was complete honesty. I was so happy with him. I would have spent forever with him but we compromised and we said forever wasn't a good idea. I was fine with that. It's so easy to make me happy. You could give me a note saying 'Hi' on it and Id frame it. Id love the crap out of that note. I loved how angry he was because if he had been happy all the time I would have gotten sick of him. Would I? That is the question. No, actually the question is why wasn't I appreciated? What I mean by that is, what I did for that guy was WAY more than ANY girl would do for their bf. Ok let me fix that. What I did was way more than what I wanted to do and HEY where's my cookie???? (and my 20 bucks he owes me) My friends would have given me a cookie! Can I just say that they had NO influence on my ending things (actually first I tried to fix things or understand him). My friends were my support when I'd talk about how my man didn't act like a bf (man) around people... but I was still wayy into him and they were cool with that. None of my friends said "break up with him!" because they knew I was so sublimely happy. HE accused my best guy friend and I of being something more when my best friend did nothing but defend him. When I finally did understand what he wanted in a relationship -which I wished I hadn't figured out, I got the big picture. *LIGHTBULB* He wanted a girl that would just mess around and darling thats not me. I'll wash your dishes, I'll help you with homework, I'll sit in front of a fire with you and defend you from killer spiders, I'll do things out of my comfort zone, I'll run errands with you, I'll stretch with you, I'll wait for you while you're at p.t, I'll watch the MLB channel all day with you, I'll love your friends, I'll love your family, I'll love you. and I WOULD have kept doing all of this. I would have "seen the world" with him, would have put up with his flirting with other girls, would have watched every game, would have spent a whole day on the couch,  I would have let him call me all the names he wanted ( because one way or another he'd end up hurting on the floor), I could go ON and ON about everything I would have done but something would not have been on that list.. so I guess he thought I wasn't enough (I "didn't do what he asked me to" ?). Therefore, he didn't appreciate me. Seriously... I just wanted to be loved. I wanted to be loved by his flaws because he wasn't perfect (duh no one is). So he missed out but he did leave me one piece of advice...he gave me the okey (okay) to go after someone, baseball player, with a white car, nice family, tall, caucasian, at a different school, and appreciative of me.. whoops well that last part was the only difference. SWAG. Awesome advice bro.

Honestly. I really like you. what a shame... that ill get over you.

1 comment:

  1. im sorry that you had to write this i know i fucked up but im hoping that youll see that im gonna try harder to keep you in my life. im going to change so that you are happy 99.9 % of the time ok fine 100% but yea youre amazing and deserve better. i hope that this break treats you well and i love you and i always will :)

    Your one and only B :),
    Ben McKendall

    ReplyDelete