"whats the point of trying when time after time you dont feel appreciated? the same thing happens over and over again and it might be my fault that I let it go on for so long.. it took me too long to understand. And finally I did. I'm a social person you have to understand that I always do the talking.. and I'm fine with that." - A quote that was twisted and convoluted by Anonymous.
I have been so busy that it hurts! Imagine a world were we could just go and do what we want? I've been having to look into scholarships and then suddenly I stopped and thought... ' WHY'? Why is this so hard? I'm simple (I think I am) and all I want is to be able to write my thoughts, have them heard, and be allowed to speak my mind. Are there any colleges that want me for me? I want to live with my roommates and do my sociology homework (probably a major reason I am killing myself to actually get to college). Without college how will I get my motorcycle? My house? How will I start something that will save the world (I need money to buy my superhero outfit). I have this weird fantasy that one day I'll live in one of those houses where people just walk in to say hi and hang out. Id be living with my man spending time together and never getting sick of him. He'd think I'm cute in every way (even if he caught me doing my single routine).
A single routine is what people usually do when no one they are attracted to is around. It may be eating chocolates, or watching cartoons, or fantasizing about some amazingly perfect men just holding you and telling you how proud they are to walk around with you (oh just me?). I also sit in front of my heater and read. I sometimes clean and organize things in my room and imagine that someday I will be cleaning my own house (mine all mine)! I like to pass by the mirror and look at myself walk by.. not because I like looking at myself but because I try to see if I walk weird in any way, if my tango steps still keep their form, or if my "at parties" dancing hasn't lost its touch (that last one was just an example of course! pshh who dances in front of their mirrors... ). I imagine living with someone who will accept me for who I am, and what I do, and what I think, and my never ending babbling. I would accept them for them or else they'd sleep on the couch! (Id actually be the one sleeping on the couch because I love sleeping on the couch and does it make any sense that if YOU are the one that is upset that THEY should be the one that is punished?). Id rarely ever be mad though, I don't like being mad. I get over everything very quickly.
Actually that's why that quote is up there ^. I'm not going to play this game about avoiding what I think. If I have something to say about something I'm feeling, I'm going to say it, and it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm trying to start something. Its just how I feel. It doesn't need to be continued. I just want to be heard.
Glad I got that off my chest!
Glad I got that off my chest!
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