So Dream On! … You Dreamers!

I will be happy. I will live my dream life. I will be under the sunshine all day every day (like I'm some sort of goddess) and at night I will be sitting by a fire surrounded by the people I cherish most. I will be successful and follow a career that will make a difference for the better and I'll make a lot of money doing that (but then I'll donate it all to the poor). I will have boat loads of friends around the world –I already have friends in Argentina and Germany. Maybe I'll even move to Argentina where everyone's nice and I can belong. All of my friends will be amazing and fully equipped with a sense of humor. I will be invited to hang outs and I will host game nights. While people are out partying and getting wasted, I will be with my friends in Ghana and experiencing the culture there. My friends won't be glued to my side so we'll always get a chance to meet new people but we will be close friends. My hair will always look golden and luminous and I will always be totally in shape. I'll be doing things like running away from bulls in Rome or climbing a mountain to reach a town in Tibet. I will have a nice car and the rare times that I'll need to fix my car, the friendly mechanics will give me discounts. I will see my brother on a regular basis and my parents will have their Golden Anniversary. I will meet someone who enjoys me for my flaws and when I fix those flaws they will enjoy watching new issues emerge. Maybe I won't meet Mr. Perfect but then I'll take it for the best. (It would only mean that someone who would appreciate him more would have him). I will keep my soul pure and kind and someday SOMEONE will notice. I will be known worldwide as the one who helps or someone that is an example to live by –some light in the dark.
I will be happy.
Sure life may not turn out exactly like that but it's all up to me. So you can try to bring me down but all I'll see is someone that I wish I could help. Yes YOU sitting in your room. GO! Live! We only get one chance at life (maybe I'll meet someone who convinces me otherwise). Let's get back to the world where we could ask for a ride and not even think about our safety being compromised. Let's give teens other things to do besides drugs. Let's trust. Let's enjoy everything. EVERYTHING. Every breath you take. Everything you can feel. Everything you can see. I enjoyed writing this. I enjoy knowing that I hate nothing and if that makes me some sort of freak then can I just say that it doesn't bother me at all.

Alone

I have been meaning to write this for a while now because I feel that I am very alone. I mean I have the usual things that keep me sane like my religion (god, Jesus, the whole crew) and my family (I'm not actually sure if they help with the sanity factor). I mean look around on this page. More than likely there are no comments posted, and still no followers. Even the people that blog about their five year old daughters first day of kindergarten have more followers than I do. This means that a kindergartener's day by day is more interesting than what I want to say. To top it all off my best friend is moving to Texas…Texas? Why couldn't it have been Colorado or Arizona well not that it matters anymore because we have officially become the California girls living like were in a movie. Best friend moves away then she and I will talk on the phone, Facebook, text, while she's going to ho-downs and I'm going to the beach. Later on we'll slowly stop talking to one another and end up running into each other at a supermarket.

Regardless… I am alone. Most of the people at my school are fake drama seekers who only care about partying and who hooked up with who. I have "friends" sure but we have little in common (meaning they don't think about things the same way I do but then again who does). I don't think I will ever find friends that last me more than a couple of years. It hasn't happened yet. People like me have a hard time finding friends because we over think and over analyze. When I'm getting to know someone I try to understand how they view things (the correct view is never one but many) and people like me try to come off as normal so it's hard to find people like me. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe two of me together is a bad idea. Haha! So instead I find people that at least support my way of thinking or agree with me sometimes.

Hither we have

Best friend 2008-2010 who until she sold her soul to cover-up, eyeliner, and attitude always got along with me and made me laugh my guts out of my ears.

Best friend 2007-2008 my twin in everything only it turned out that those years I was actually her not me so it ended when I found myself again.

Best friend 2006-2007 consisted of two people; a soccer player chick who was never satisfied with me and a boy who I ended up dating (which ended that friendship).

Every best friend before then was during elementary school and my friendships really just revolved around the fights over sharing crayons.

Now we see a trend with me. Never more than two years and my Best friend now (2010-????) is coincidentally moving two states away. Lovely. Maybe someday while I'm traveling I will meet some amazing people who do the same thing I do and we will save lives on our journeys together. *sigh* Now give me a shooting star.